White Christmas

Christmas comes but once a year.

Hence the special events at the club this weekend - the presentation of the Turkey Trot prizes; the Christmas raffle draw; the second mixed greensomes; the Christmas lunch.

What doesn't come once a year is the winning score in the week's Turkey Trot: 52 points. A score like that is as rare as a Newcastle manager lasting more than a season*; or a farmer being satisfied with the weather.
Saturday saw the course open again, 10 holes only, and (to give time to work everything out before the presentation) a decision that a 10 hole score would be grossed up for the final round. The course was firm and partly fair - depending how your ball bounced - and the cold but calm conditions allowed for some special shots; I've never driven level with the 150 yard marker on the 4th before, nor reached the green close to the pin with a 9 iron from there, although my missed putt was familiar. But the eventual birdie saw me very happy with 24 points (also my lowest 18 hole score), grossed up to 43, wondering if I had a chance to win a meat voucher. But no: 29 grossed up to 52 won it.

And this final day score propelled Dick Little past the leading contenders for the second time in three years to win, leaving John Moffett 3rd (the leader at the start of the day) and Trevor Thompson 2nd; there was some consolation for the low handicappers in their number of birdies: 8 for John Moffet, 7 for Peter Sanderson, another indication the course wasn't at it's toughest. Birdie money is a critical part of the economics of playing at Bamburgh and it requires a calculating mind and a lot of loose change. The scene became more Christmassy with snow falling as Dick started off the raffle draw with Bronwen's win meaning the hamper stayed in the clubhouse. Naively I still assumed we could play the second mixed greensomes in the morning, and turned up at 9.00am to find everyone else had looked out their window and made the sensible decision to stay away. The snow does make the place look attractive but I hope it goes in time for the next greensomes (Jan 20th) and to let us play the brass monkeys more than last year.The Christmas lunch was good as always leaving just the Christmas quiz on Wednesday to complete the golf club's celebrations this year (and in the end snow caused this to be cancelled as well).

I googled "52 stableford points"; I only found two other examples discussed on the web, and a comment by one golf system supplier describing such a score as "beyond fabulous". So congratulations Dick: whatever the conditions, it's an amazing result.

* Actually, a 52 is a bit more unlikely than a manager lasting a season: there have been a few Newcastle managers who have lasted a whole season and more. The list of Newcastle managers on wikipedia was interesting: I hadn't realised that in terms of win%s, Hughton was Newcastle's most successful manager ever.

Here's a picture of a real Turkey Trot held in Cuero, Texas:

Snowbound

The course is still closed; a pretty successful year has been bookended by bad weather (I gather the week's bar takings were less than £10). I'm stuck in London, where there's a dearth of snow but a lot of Christmas Lights.It's a chance to catch up with various things, one being a new sign for my charity box, people (especially Julie) having told me that the current one is too small. Because my charities have a family cause it's also an excuse to stick a few old family photos on the site.
The Mizen Head in the 1950s
My parents are self evidently the reason I'm here, but also the reason I've settled in Seahouses: we always came on holiday here, as had they when they were kids. I therefore decided to split the penalty for making a mistake on the course between the two charities which research, and try to cure, the illnesses they died of - Cancer Research and the National Osteoporosis Society.

The last few years have seen a charity box for going in bunkers and for driving out of bounds on 17 and 18. I briefly thought about one for going in the Dinkie but decided to stick with bunkers; first, this catches golfers of all skills and second (as someone pointed out) it'll raise more money - and that is surely the point.

The other photos are of, in order, my family on the beach (Bamburgh) in 1960, my grandparents on the beach (Bamburgh) in 1921, my other grandparents on the beach (Beadnell) in 1939 and my parent's wedding.

Course closed

Having whinged last week about my lack of ability to play, I was pleased to see during the week that most of my least favourite holes were closed due to wet weather. And therefore looked forward to a good score today. Only for snow to close the course completely.

In many ways this weekend's golf was my best of the winter season so far. And the snow made the Bamburgh Christmas lights look especially good.

Why I hate golf at Bamburgh

The ball won't go where it's put(t).
The mat on the 8th.
The approach shot on the 9th never goes on the green, it goes in the gully.
The extra bits of gorse on the 10th.
The rise on the 11th. However good the drives on every other hole, this one always hits the hill.
The third shot on the 12th goes nowhere near the green however good the first and second are.
The second shot off the fairway on the 13th is always scuffed. And the ball - when it eventually gets there - always rolls off the back of the green.
The fact that every stategy on the 15th leads to the third shot not being on the green.
The 16th is stroke index 18 and my handicap is 17.
The practice ground by the 18th.

I usually like the 17th, though. And the bar.

I can switch off now

Mixed Fortunes

Why don't men want to play golf with women? When Nicky Rose and I decided to try having some mixed events in winter, really just for the fun of it as well as to re-introduce more mixed golf, I sensed an undercurrent of doubt about the idea from many men.

I googled the topic and first up was this analysis of why women don't want to play with men; and a link to the opposite. The answers seemed to be a mixture of confidence (or lack thereof), chauvinism and the need to bond.

But fortunately enough people didn't think about the analysis and turned up to play at our first mixed greensome: we had sixteen, eight men and eight women (plus, to show that we are enlightened at Bamburgh with more men than women wanting to play, a first reserve in Chris Magnay). This perfect equally matched grouping of four fourballs was unplanned - we had just invited people to turn up - but as with the unexpected calm and sunny weather must be an omen to have more of these events.

We'd decided on greensomes to take some pressure off - it was meant to be a fun event - and to introduce some tactics. It meant some pretty complex handicap arrangements and team selections with scissors, paper and rulers. But eventually we played. My group was Margaret Heatley and myself with Phil McDonnell and Nicky Rose. Phil's perceptions of women's golf were transformed by Nicky's near flawless play; I noted he was playing second shots from places he'd never been before; in return he suggested that in future the men's section should follow the ladies' example of having a Captain who could actually play. (This was after we'd got a birdie on the 17th, but admittedly it was also after I'd put my drive into the field).

The results were fairly close, but there was a tie for first place (a creditable 42 points). I'm not sure if it was co-incidence or synchronicity that the two couples who wanted to play as a couple were the two with the best result. It will need more experience to decide whether marriage is the best indicator of victory. But although the prizes could be, and were, easily split equally we needed a way to decide who had won this first event.
Rock paper scissors was the obvious answer. Keith Whitfield seemed unwilling to use this as a way of replacing countbacks in future, but it achieved a result. Gary Graham had the necessary talent. In case it does become widely used in future, here's a guide on how to win. As with golf, the more you practice the luckier you'll get.

The event went well, and congratulations to Gary and Carol Graham and John and Helen Payne for their wins. We have another - again, greensomes stableford - on Sunday 19th December, first tee time at 9.30. There's also a Christmas lunch at the club that day. And we think we'll arrange one in each of January, February and March.

Careful your trolley isn't on bricks

It’s been obvious for some time that the clubhouse needs major work. But it’s not surely in a bad enough state to see the signs of decay you’d expect from a blighted area. Yet last week that is what happened: the bar was filled with Liverpool flags, mementos and posters. People wore pictures of Liverpool players on their backs (that is the pictures were on their backs rather than being of the players diving). There was even (inexplicably) a picture of Alan Shearer on the window.

But in fact this wasn’t a sign of blight (I need to be careful with this post: remember Boris Johnson being sent to Liverpool to apologize for being rude about it?).

It was a carefully planned and generous surprise for Kipper’s 60th birthday set up by Fyona and Keith to be waiting for him after his golf. Lots of people turned up to wish one of the nicest people around a happy birthday and to share a football shaped cake. All this, and no more Hicks and Gillette: no wonder Kipper looked happy.

Only 55 days to Christmas...

There’s a number of indications of summer fading away and autumn/winter approaching – the leaves dropping, the weather improving and on the golf course new piles of earth and dressing as the winter programme gets underway. But also, a less stressful yet highly important competition, the Turkey Trot (and the female equivalent the Chicken Run).

Less stressful because it’s stableford and because there’s plenty of weeks to have a go. The first couple of years I played in it I had the honour of getting both the highest and lowest scores (14 & 43 in the first year, 19 and 46 the second); more recently it’s been sustained mediocrity with this year being no different. But the hope of a meat voucher still drives me (and many others) on.
The good players tend to be overall leaders; there are exceptions but class obviously tells in the long run. There’s two aspects of the Turkey Trot (winter) handicap system worthy of note: there’s a weekly adjustment but only downwards, for the week’s winner and for good scores, and once the clocks have gone back and the winter tees are in use there’s an even more complex method of settling birdies than usual, where the amount per birdie depends on handicap. But how are the results calculated, checked and handicaps altered? This year I’ve been privileged to join the small group that reviews the scorecards on a Monday morning. “Smoke filled room”* would have described the atmosphere had it not been for the smoking ban: but the image still fits the careful, methodical delight with which the winner is docked (at least) one shot off his handicap.
* From Wikipedia: “a cabal of powerful or well-connected, cigar-smoking men meeting privately to nominate a dark horse candidate or make some other decision without regard for the will of the public.”

Handicapping golf

My visit to the home of the English Golf Union prompted me to think about the handicapping system, and to find out some of the background detail. If you know all about it, and think it’s a fantastic system, look away now: this post is not for you.

The immediate prompt was the new unified handicapping system; a lot of effort and money has gone into this system, which links all clubs’ handicap systems to a central database and to each other with the added discipline of each golfer wanting an active handicap having to play three qualifying rounds a year. The reason seems to be to make it harder for golfers to enter open competitions with the wrong handicap. Compared with the number of rounds played each year across the UK, I wonder how often that happens? And in a world where clubs are losing 7% members a year on average and where fewer golfers want to belong to a golf club it seems stupid to put so much money and effort into a process that is irrelevant to most golf. And which creates a barrier – the active handicap – for people new to organised golf to become involved. Looking back a few years, with this sort of hassle, I’m not sure I ever would have bothered to take an active part in a golf club. A good thing, some might say, but not surely the way to build up active participation in golf.

Perhaps the key is whether you view golf as a sport where competition is everything, or a game where enjoyment is the main purpose. They overlap of course but the emphasis is different. I think it is both and they must co-exist. I worry that the thrust of CONGU and the EGU is the former and this smacks of raising the drawbridge to keep people out.

Anyway: it prompted me to look up information on how the system works, and some links follow for people who are interested. Not surprisingly, the various bodies think they do a good job and Congu, the council of national golf unions who run the handicapping system for the British Isles, publish analysis (“myths and misconceptions”) to show the system works well. For example:
- It is fair to have full handicap differences in singles matchplay;
- High handicappers don’t win more things than low handicappers.

The British Isles system differs from the US and Europe; competitions use playing handicaps. In very simple terms, playing handicaps are calculated by using results from each qualifying round, based on the difference between the actual score and the competition scratch score (CSS). The CSS is calculated by taking the standard scratch score (SSS) – what you’d expect a scratch golfer to score in normal conditions – and adjusting it by how well all players in the competition have done; this is to take account of different weather conditions.

This is how the standard scratch score is calculated. Our SSS went up from 67 to 68 when we were re-rated this year, primarily because of the effect of wind making the course more difficult than its length and hazards would suggest. An introduction to the CSS calculations are here - CONGU no longer makes the details of it's formulas available on line; you have to buy the manual from them.

The US system differs in two respects: they use an average of the best scores to calculate a handicap and using the “slope” system they adjust the difference not only according to the course on the day, but also according to how much harder the course is for an 18+ handicapper than a scratch golfer.

The European system uses a combination; they use (in most case) the UK method of calculating handicaps but adjusted by the slope system.

The UK system weights the best scores (handicaps only go up 0.1 for bad scores), the US averages more. The effect is that in the UK golfers are not expected to match their handicap on every round; a category 1 player would tend to average two shots above the CSS and a category 4 about five or six more (see “myths” above), and that on average a UK handicap would tend to be lower than a US one.

It’s all pretty complicated; however, I’m going to assume that it’s roughly OK because I started the 2010 season at 17.0 and ended it last week still at 17.0.

Old Classics

After Brancepeth four of us travelled south to play two classic inland courses: Woodhall Spa and Moortown – using one of the benefits of being captain, free rounds at other courses (not at all courses, but most, and certainly those two: people say that the courtesy should apply in the year after being captain, because you don’t have the time to use it, but I’ll do my best to get good value).

Both courses also had extra bits of history: Woodhall Spa is the home of the English Golf Union, which owns the course: in effect we as golf club members own it; Moortown was where the first Ryder Cup match was played in the UK, in 1929.

Woodhall is a lovely heathland course which had a couple of advantages compared to Bamburgh: it's flat and it wasn’t windy. But it has exceedingly large bunkers. I’m pleased to say I had a birdie on the first hole, which set the scene for 18 points on the front nine and 15 on the back. Mike Robinson and I (southerners) played John Southern and Keith Whitfield (northerners). After a close start, we were three down with four to play but managed to halve on the 18th. I won’t go through each shot, but they were mostly very satisfying, as was the Chateau Musar in the evening. Continuing to focus on important issues, Woodhall also had a half-way house, something I think we should think about one day.

Moortown was tough; I only had a par on the first (Keith had a birdie) and then didn’t score for ages.. Mike and I were four down after seven holes. But then things turned as we won eight holes in a row. I had an inspirational – some might say outrageous – birdie to put us level; after mis-hitting my second onto the next fairway 150 yards from the green, I hit a lofted wood low (very low) over the rough, between the bunkers and into the pin so hard that it was loud to me 150 yards away. It dropped. Golf is a psychological game. Having got 11 points on the front nine, and two down, I thought the course was disappointing. After getting 11 points on the back nine, but with that birdie and a par, and finishing four and three, I thought it was great. And the Ryder Cup memorabilia was fascinating.
I’d recommend a stay at Woodhall Spa for the village, the course and the hotel. The title “Old classics”, by the way, refers to the courses not the players.

Brancepeth Friendly

I now understand how Fabio Capello felt.

You take a team of highly trained perfectly functioning athletes to an exotic destination (in our case, Co Durham), and what happens? They fall apart - admittedly with the opponents catching some luck, as when Derek and Tony watched a likely win on the 9th turn into a loss as Brancepeth chipped up and in for a birdie, akin to that goal that wasn’t. The tabloids have still to uncover the inner turmoils that must have been affecting our team – or perhaps the Brancepeth Castle team simply played better? That was certainly the case in my game as we lost 4 and 3; we played well but somehow didn’t seem to win holes. At least Phil Holmes and Shaun McFaul won and Mike Robinson and Derek Stout drew.

Brancepeth Castle is a good trip: the course is excellent with some fascinating holes across a gully, including the 9th and 10th being two almost 200 yard par threes through the remnants of the Castle’s park. The first time I played the course, I managed a 3 and a 4 and have looked on the course with affection ever since (although I’ve never managed to repeat the scores). They’ve now added a half way house (strictly, at the 9th tee): it obviously takes practice to play, eat and drink at the same time.

I was impressed that they have made their treasurer Vice Captain. This prompted me to tell in my thank you speech the only accounting joke I know:
“Why did the auditor cross the road?”
“Because he did it last year.”

You can see why it’s the only accounting joke I’d want to know – although there are in fact others.

Ponteland friendly

My first friendly (against Ponteland) was obviously going to be important as a pointer to the year ahead: as I had said the year before, weather and team selection were critical and I would now add luck to the mix..

Tony Tuckwood had remarked the week before that, after years of taking part in these matches he had never lost – but as Ponteland member as well, he was often criticised for this. From that moment he was earmarked as my partner: if he kept his record, I’d win; if I dragged him down to my level then at least he could hold his head high at Ponteland again.

We had a good team of people, with unusually two or three on the reserve list who could have played. The running order was basically semi-officials first and then the likely winners last, and that is how it proved to be. After a tight game (tight only in the sense that after Chris Forster’s par golf we were 5 down after 9; although we did manage to get back to 2 under, we lost on the 16th) we sat in the warm afternoon sun (what DID happen to the weather last Sunday?) and watched the teams come in. The first three matches lost, then we won a couple, then one each, so it all depended on the last match - which Chris Hall and Sean McFaul duly won.

A draw then, a good result for a friendly, especially as we retained the trophy because we had won last time. The weather was great and the team selection worked. The conversation in our group about the future of golf clubs was interesting: we can sometimes forget how lucky we are to have a waiting list at a time when golf club membership is falling (at a rate of about 7.5% a year in our area).

Worthy of note: Ponteland were hosting the 100th birthday party of one of their members, Norman Bains, still a regular visitor to the club. We passed on our congratulations.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Past Captains' Day: a chance for the great and good who have gone before to play and eat and reminisce. And as a courtesy, they invite the new Captain to join them (probably not expecting it to be written about).

As with every day since last Sunday, the weather was fine; the course was in great condition and even better the competition was off the yellow tees; there was also no pressure because as a guest I couldn't win. But I did come a notional second (equal) to Bill Robinson's 40 points.

There were 21 for dinner; I was at the end of the table next to the most recent (John Taylor) and most long serving (Lord Walton) past captains, with the others in chronological order. Hopefully the table will get bigger over time as I slowly migrate round. The lights went out at our end (an indication of the decaying electrics in the clubhouse and the need to renovate it) so we had candles. Very festive.

First job

The best part of being Captain so far is being able to sweep into a parking space on a busy day. Like on Wednesday which saw my first duty as Captain, to present the prizes at the annual Pro-Am tournament.
First however I had to play. Despite a very professional professional our team just didn't click; if one played one hole badly then we all did (although Jim Findlay in particular had some inspired pars which kept us in sight of a level score) with the team even running out of balls (in more ways than one) on the 11th tee. We managed to come a creditable last - someone has to, after all, and in a way it was my duty to do so.

Elsewhere on the course there were some good scores in unusually calm conditions, with the winning pro scoring 63 (helping his team, Dick Little's team, come into second place with -20 so winning the decanters rather than the chessboards). The winning team managed -26: the pro for that team works at Morpeth with the winning pro so there should be a post mortem.

The NE&NW PGA organise these events well, and we had 28 teams take part with about 8 pros bringing their own teams. Anything over 20 is good for this type of function so I'm sure we'll do it again next year.

Before prize giving I popped into Seahouses initially to support but then to commiserate with the ladies NNL team, who were in a first place play-off with Rothbury. Sadly they didn't quite win (it would have been their first ever first place, and in fact it was Rothbury's first ever first) but second is one better than the men's team managed. So congratulations...

Captain's Day

I had a vision of a calm sunny day something along the lines of John Major's warm beer quote*; sitting by the trailer on the 12th looking at the view, reading the Sunday papers till people appeared for a drink, strolling down to the first tee and hitting a gentle 6 iron onto the front of the green. And perhaps on another day in 2011 that may happen.

But not this Captain's Day; people tried to say consolingly that at least it will be remembered - for the worst golfing weather for years, and in fact for a cancelled competition.

I woke to the sound of heavy rain and wind; at 8.oo I looked at the webcam and saw two figures trudging along to the 1st green and put aside thoughts of staying in bed. But when I got to the club to get coffee the sun had come out; the wind was still too strong to make normal play possible, but at least it was dry and people were playing, and we set out the trailer at the 12th tee and waited to entertain the windswept players as they came by. Then the rains came, and fewer came by and those that did started to give up.
At the back of my mind - for the last twelve months or so - had been the drive-in. The first is never easy; John Taylor had described the awful silence as you walked down to the tee to drive; 85 people had tried to guess where my drive would go. The first thing was to agree with Keith Whitfield (by the way, I'm very glad and grateful he's vice captain) that the competition would be postponed and to give prizes to the three people (Lance Cope, Ron Bewley and Phil Taylor) who'd actually finished. Then it was time.

The picture of the audience huddled in warm clothing tell the story: although temporarily dry it was very windy. I have no memory of what happened next, except that the drive worked: it went further and straighter than I think anyone expected. The really wierd thing is that photos say that it took less than a minute to walk from the crowd to the tee, to set the ball up and to make the drive. It seemed much longer.
The usual afternoon crowd didn't play. Except for John Southern, Phil McDonnell and Phil Holmes. Crazy? Phil M said later that they had tremendous fun and they formed a nucleus of drinkers at the 12th tee in the afternoon. And John Southern managed 26 points, a clear winner of the six people who finished, and deserved his bottle of champagne (opened later in the evening).
The evening party went well thanks to Paul and Karen who put on the buffet, Ken Howe on the keyboard, Neil Forsyth on vocals accompanied for Baker Street by a one off performance by Hazel. And of course the Coxon's ice cream van.
So ended a pretty messy day, but I guess the drive and the party worked.

* I had orginally meant to link to Major's actual quote, but I saw on Google the link to a "Dull Men's Club" site. As well as the Currie/Major joke the site is fascinating: anything which can list the world's airport carousels and the whether they rotate clockwise or anti-clockwise has got to be worth a look.

Getting Ready

I thought I'd prepare for a busy weekend - AGM, Drive-in, hosting at the 12th tee and the evening party - by going to my first ever Workmen's Club event, the annual trip, which was to the Roxburghe.

The alternative was practising my drives.

It was a tough but enjoyable parkland course with great views of the Borders, and a good change from the windy coast. The closest I got to a prize was partnering Bill Mordue and watching him win one of the nearest the pin prizes - a good effort as we were in the first group out. Based on my drives, I'm predicting a 70% chance of not clearing the dinkie on Sunday.

Michael Thompson won, Chris Hall was second and Phil Holmes, who'd arranged the day, third.